IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people are using credit cards or loans to run up huge personal debts that they may be unable to repay .it should therefore be made more difficult for individuals to borrow large amounts of money what are your opinions on this?

#people #credit #cards #loans #debts #individuals #amounts #money
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Lots of
people
 nowadays consume loans or credit cards to get a tremendous quantity of personal debts that make it hard to repay, and for
this
 ,reason it has to be more intricate for
people
 to lend huge sums of
money
.I strongly agree with
this
 statement, because it's inefficient for both governments and banks side
as well as
 for a person's future business plans and it might lead to bigger problems
such
 as sitting in jail or committing suicide
due to
 incapability to repay. A significant portion of
money
 borrowed by an individual might be inefficient for both sides. First of all,if every single person would lend a considerable amount of source
then
 government and banks might face bankruptcy.
For instance
,if 100
people
 would borrow 500,000$ per person
then
 50,000,000$ is going to be brought from the country's cash. As long as it's not going to be repaid, banks in the first place would close ,because of bankruptcy. But if the laws and some corrections would tighten ,
then
 all those problems might disappear.
Secondly
,
people
 would often stress out or feel anxiety
due to
 the reason that they may not be able to give the
money
 back.
Moreover
,they may have thoughts of suicide or fear of ending up in jail.In lots of cases,
people
 usually don't have financial literacy -maybe they weren't taught
such
 things or haven't run up a business before-.
For example
,in our country ,usually
people
 are strained or anxious about how they'll repay.
Also
,
Add an article
the
an
show examples
increasing sum of the percentage of late repayment might lead to more fear.
For
this
 reason,it would be better if rules will be regulated to get an immense amount of
money
.
To conclude
,I believe that it is not necessary to lend a substantial number of
money
: it's not efficient and
people
 might feel more strain after borrowing
Submitted by yusupovauldana65 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • credit cards
  • loans
  • debts
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • stringent checks
  • balances
  • repaying
  • reckless spending
  • living beyond one's means
  • financial destabilization
  • regulations
  • cap (verb)
  • income
  • financial commitments
  • mandatory financial education
  • financial decisions
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