IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Poverty in gender age in families. Discuss both sides.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Presented
Correct article usage
The presented
show examples
 pie chart illustrates
Use synonyms
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
 level by family composition within
Use synonyms
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart gives information about
poverty
Use synonyms
indicator
Fix the agreement mistake
indicators
show examples
differentated
Correct your spelling
differentiated
 by gender and age. The
statistic
Replace the word
statistical
show examples
 data
taken
Add a missing verb
was taken
show examples
 in the United States in 2008.
Body paragraph 1
In general,
accordinng
Correct your spelling
according
 to the data single women without children
rate
Use synonyms
 was at 54
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
 by 26
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of married
Use synonyms
womens
Correct your spelling
women
 with no child.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, married women with children
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 at 12
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and least position at 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 belongs to single
Use synonyms
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 with
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
In addition
Linking Words
,
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 clearly seems that
Use synonyms
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
within
Change preposition
among
show examples
 females is
higer
Correct your spelling
higher
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
mans
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
. The highest level of
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 was over 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in the group ages under 5 and 18-24 years old. The lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 belongs to
mens
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
avarege
Correct your spelling
average
 of 10
pecents
Correct your spelling
per cent
percents
within
Change preposition
between
show examples
 25 and 75 years old.
Conclusion
To summarize, it can
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 seen that more than half
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of womens
show examples
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 single and had no child in 2008, and
Use synonyms
womens
Change to a genitive case
women's
show examples
poverty
Use synonyms
 level was always at
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 than
mens
Correct your spelling
men
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: