The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
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The provided bar chart gives information about how much money was spent
three
Change preposition
in three
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main categories from different
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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of residents in the UK in 2004. It is clear
see
Fix the infinitive
to see
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that
people
Use synonyms
spending money on food and drink has risen gradually.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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people
Use synonyms
group more than 75 consumed the most in food and drink
while
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
under 30 consumed in restaurant and hotel.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
age
Wrong verb form
aged
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61 to 75
years
Use synonyms
old raged the highest on entertainment. Getting back to the details citizens
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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consumed
on
Change preposition
apply
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food and drink had an upward trend of approximately 7% for those under 30
years
Use synonyms
old and
age
Use synonyms
more than 75
years
Use synonyms
was around 23%.
on the other hand
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the presentage
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presentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
of
restaurant
Fix the agreement mistake
restaurants
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and
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
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fluctuated wildly. The highest proportion nearly 14% was under 30
years
Use synonyms
old
while
Linking Words
the lowest was roughly 2%
on
Change preposition
apply
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aged 61 to 75
years
Use synonyms
.
Age
Use synonyms
31 to 45 and 46 to 60 had
same
Change the article
the same
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figure of roughly 13%.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
spending the
highest
Correct word choice
most
show examples
money
Change preposition
on
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
entertainment
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
Use synonyms
Wrong verb form
aged
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age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
61 to 75
years
Use synonyms
old reached the peak at approximately 23%, under 30 rated the lowest at 7%.
Age
Use synonyms
from 46 to 60 and more than 75 was the almost same roughly 14%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 3 times.
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