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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In today’s modern
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 it is quite crucial to choose the right job,
along with
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 appropriate conditions.
Conserning
Correct your spelling
Concerning
 of
this
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, some individuals think that it is better to cope with
a
Change the article
an
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 awful occasion,
such
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 as unsatisfying work or
inappropriate
Correct article usage
an inappropriate
show examples
 salary,
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however
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,however
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 others are convinced that the best is to take all the measures to improve
such
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 situations. On one hand, the first option is likely to be more secure
to
Change preposition
for
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person’s
Correct article usage
a person’s
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further
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 career. It is because of
this
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 kind of
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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, can
threat
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threaten
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 his own status and influence,
Additionally
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, it can affect only him, but other staff too.
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Subsequently
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,Subsequently
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this
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 will
breakdown
Correct your spelling
break down
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 his reputation.
For instance
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,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
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 who experienced bad treatment in a job, having a small budget can complain to his boss. But, it is said that bosses don’t support
such
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 an unsatisfactory related to
condition
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the condition
a condition
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 he provided to
employee
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
.
Therefore
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, there is a minimal chance to
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
.
Consequently
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, even if
individual
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the individual
an individual
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 didn’t get fired,
due to
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 some restrictions in law, at worst he will be
demonted
Correct your spelling
demoted
demented
.
Hence
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,
this
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 will make
such
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 a circumstance even worse than it was before.
On the other hand
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, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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also
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 some strong arguments to consider the second variant. Since, there is
also
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 a type of people who go through every obstacle, despite
of
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apply
show examples
difficulties occurred. These have an opportunity to attain their goals and amend the established system, changing the lives of the other workers too.
Therefore
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 enhancing their status.
Nevertheless
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, it cannot deny the fact that to achieve
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 favourable outcome they have to be sufficiently literate and competent, being aware of any rule.
For example
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, if there is injustice related to them in work and
such
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a
Change the article
an
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 offence can be restricted by law legally,
worker
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the worker
a worker
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 can go to special organisations involving the issues with human rights.
Thus
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, he can have a good result
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 solving the problem. In conclusion, I think that
,
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apply
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 fighting for
a
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apply
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better treatment is better, if there is an exact offence and if a person has enough knowledge he can handle the problem, making
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right decision and achieving the aim after all.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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