IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

task one: the two tables here show the percentages of smokers in different age groups. Please summarize and compare the information.

task one: the two tables here show the percentages of smokers in different age groups. Please summarize and compare the information.
The two tables compare how the habit of smoking is distributed statistically over 6
age
Use synonyms
 clusters in
men
Use synonyms
 versus
women
Use synonyms
. The
overall
Linking Words
 trend is that as the
age
Use synonyms
 grows, people are less inclined towards
such
Linking Words
 habits. The maximum tendency is seen among the early 20s. Teenage boy
smokers
Use synonyms
, between 16 and 19 years old, account for 23% of their
age
Use synonyms
 group, which is only 2 per cent less than the corresponding female
smokers
Use synonyms
. In all the other
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
,
men
Use synonyms
 represent a higher percentage. 20-24-year-olds demonstrate the highest peak in
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 each, 36 and 29 respectively.
Light
Use synonyms
smokers
Use synonyms
 in both genders are way higher in number than heavy ones, at least 4 times more. 25-49 yrs which covers two of the
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
 33%
smokers
Use synonyms
 among
men
Use synonyms
 and 28% among
women
Use synonyms
; among whom, the absolute majority are
light
Use synonyms
smokers
Use synonyms
 especially the males in their middle
age
Use synonyms
, 22% on average. The
last
Linking Words
 category, the 50-year-olds and over, demonstrate the least inclination for smoking among all
age
Use synonyms
groups
Use synonyms
.
Men
Use synonyms
 are about 20% and
women
Use synonyms
 about 18%; and
light
Use synonyms
smokers
Use synonyms
, similar to the
last
Linking Words
 2
groups
Use synonyms
, are more
light
Use synonyms
smokers
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, men, women, smokers, groups, light with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: