IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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It is argued that helping the unpaid
community
Use synonyms
 should be added to school curricula, and
pupils
Use synonyms
 ought to do it free of charge. In the following essay, I will discuss why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as a positive event and elaborate
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
 perspective.
Pupils
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 must get to know how to help others and being helpful as a part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society should be taken into consideration. It is necessary for children to know how to help other people and learn to be helpful in life is very crucial that they might learn it in their early life. They must have known that they are not apart from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and these
community
Use synonyms
 needs their attention as they grow up.
For example
Linking Words
, In the USA some institutions and schools take children to these charity communities and teach
pupils
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 how to help others.
However
Linking Words
, some individuals believe that it is not a necessary option that
pupils
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 might learn it in their early life. They will have automatically learned how to help other people as they graduate from high school. Being compulsory may have a negative effect on the
students
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if
students
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 are going to be taken to
the a
Choose an article
the
a
show examples
 charity
community
Use synonyms
, they must lose their interest in helping others because they are forced to. In my opinion, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and it is because if the
students
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 are taken to the charity
community
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 they will get to know what problems
are exist
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exist
show examples
 in our world and they may try to fix them when they grow up.

To conclude
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,
pupils
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 must
leaned
Correct your spelling
learned
show examples
 how to be helpful as a part of the society. It is necessary that
pupils
Use synonyms
 should learn
this
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 because they are flexible enough to understand the situation.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
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 some individuals argue that it must have a negative influence on the
students
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 because they may lose their interest. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is not the case and the reason for
that is
Linking Words
 that they may encounter what are the problems in the world and they will try to fix them.
Submitted by mohammad.saffarian on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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