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Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
People have different views on whether graduates should engage in other disciplines, which are beyond their major.
While
 there are some benefits to finishing the
study
 of their main courses
sloely
Correct your spelling
slowly
solely
, I do believe that choosing a secondary course is essential for their development in the long term. On the one hand, I accept that it is meaningful and beneficial to spend the majority of the time studying the main course alone and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 the qualification.
Firstly
, these future workers who are
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 and qualified in a specific domain can be easier to find a well-paid job.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entrepreneurs are more likely to employ workers who have qualifications among hundreds of candidates.
However
, learning
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
minor subjects can bring more benefits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
show examples
 growth.The process of the
study
 is not only to the curricular course，learning in the university
aim
Correct subject-verb agreement
aims
show examples
 to build a comprehensive person，
hence
study
 other subjects is conform to
school's
Correct article usage
the school's
show examples
 targets.
In addition
，for the
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society，people who just
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 single
skilled
Replace the word
skill
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 becoming out of place to adapt
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 rapid change，so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multivariated
Correct your spelling
multivariate
 studying can help them adjust
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 trend.
For instance
，affected by structural unemployment
result
Wrong verb form
resulting
show examples
 in recession or technology development，
student
Add an article
a student
the student
show examples
 who has
single
Correct article usage
a single
show examples
 qualification is hard to survive. In conclusion，I can understand the reason why individuals tips balance in favour of
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 major course，but
Iwould
Correct your spelling
I would
 argue that they can benefit more from
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 other subjects with
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 class together.
Submitted by 915818382 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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