IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

To learn effectively, children need to eat a healthy meal at school. How true is this statement? Whose responsibility is it to provide food for school children?

#children #school #responsibility #food
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The scion
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to ingest
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
 nutrition.
The nutritions
Correct article usage
Nutritions
show examples
 highly vital importance for the human body. The parents and
school
 are both important in
this
 statement.
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 following paragraphs will be more detailing explain. The
children
 have to eat more vegetables, fruits and nuts
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 they are containing
highly
Change the adverb
high
show examples
protein
. The nine to fourteen years old
children
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 34 grams
protein
Change preposition
of protein
show examples
 per day. That includes a banana, an egg, an
avacoda
Correct your spelling
avocado
 etc.
According to
 research
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 getting enough
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
 who is more
successfully
Change the word
successful
show examples
 learn.
However
, meats
including
Replace the word
include
show examples
 higher
protein
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than veggies but I'm
recommend
Wrong verb form
recommended
show examples
 to prefer to eat veggies
instead
 of meats because
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 eat meat too much human body
getting
Wrong verb form
gets
show examples
 lazy so
that’s
Unnecessary verb
that
show examples
 depends on how successfully to learn. Because of that, the
children
 have to eat more veggies.
Finally
, I totally agree with that statement. The
children’s
Change noun form
children
show examples
 need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
high
Add a hyphen
high-protein
show examples
protein
 meals and the parents and
school
 both
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 issue. Cause whose have at
school
 five days a per week. In conclusion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 more pay attention to their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 food,
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
children
 more achievement and to be admired in the future.
Submitted by enkhuyan3 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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