IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In an era of globalization, some people think that studying abroad is the best way to attain a well-paid job while others believe other options are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#era #globalization #people #job #options
Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world. A few years ago, the trend toward going abroad was not very high.
recruitment
 prefer to leave their native society for higher education. At that time,
recruitment
 got better
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 in their state as well. Nowadays, it is reaching to every nook and corner of the world. All
admission
 want to go to
other state
Change the wording
another state
other states
show examples
 for graduation. If enlistment did not have specialists in their respective fields from abroad, they would not get a good
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in their regions.
However
, fewer people think that if
recruitment
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 from their community, they will get a better job in their profession-related field.
According to
 some people, at
this
 time, many enlistment wish to go out of their region for better careers, because the importance of national degrees is very low compared to international degrees. The effect of
this
 is that many educated youths leave their public and plan to settle in other
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
. When
Replace the word
recruiting
show examples
recruitment
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 from abroad, they get
appointment
Fix the agreement mistake
appointments
show examples
 easily in their community. So, the government needs to increase job opportunities for local
admission
 in his state.
On the other hand
, others believe that when a pupil graduates from his country. They
also
 survive in their region. The local
enlistment
Replace the word
enlistees
show examples
 easily understand their native language, so they are very comfortable with their business.
Moreover
, they
also
 know about the local markets.
To conclude
, in the modern age,
admission
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 moving toward
other land
Change the wording
another land
other lands
show examples
 for study and better careers.
However
, it’s not easy to get
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 task abroad. When
admission
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 staying in their people, they easily adjust to their hometowns.
Submitted by ahsanislam96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: