Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crime #prevention #responsibility

It is no doubt that crimes are prevailing nowadays and it is considered a critical risk for the community. Some people believe that the

government

has the main role in crime prevention.

On the other hand

, some people argue that individuals are responsible for reducing illegal

actions

. In the following, we will deliberate more impressive explanations of why the

government

play a crucial factor in the deterrent rate of breaking the law. One of the most important factors that lead to diminishing the proportion of illegal behaviours is allocating more funds to secure the streets using sophisticated technological tools

such

as electronic surveillance. Monitoring the streets and every corner would dramatically restrict the behaviour of criminals and

hence

inclining

Verb problem

increase

show examples

the percentage of disruptive

actions

. It is worth noting that two of the most important causes of theft and stealing cases are poverty and a high rate of unemployment. Indeed, the

government

should

also

apply more funds to find more jobs and

thus

offer a better life for the community. Turning to the individual roles in society, people

also

play important factors

such

secure

Wrong verb form

as securing

show examples

their homes daily and saving themself from dangerous situations

such

as walking in the street late at night.

Furthermore

, rising misbehaved individuals are an indicator of missing parental involvement in the upbringing. Parents have a primary factor in instilling valuable lessons and morals in their children. A good moral background limits persons from performing unlawful

actions

To sum up

, the

government

has the full function of reducing illegal doings in society by securing the streets and enhancing the financial level of the community.

However

, individuals

also

have a good part

to decline

Change preposition

in declining

show examples

criminal

actions

. I firmly agree the function of the

government

surpasses the individual's impact.

Submitted by fmalquran112 on Sat Jun 24 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Some people believe that it is better to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try to improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.