IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows the proportion of different categories of families living in poverty in Australia in 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown below. Make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #categories #families #poverty #australia #report #university #lecturer #information #comparisons
The given table provides the
percentage
 of six kinds of
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 who live in
poverty
 in In
Austraila
Correct your spelling
Australia
 in
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 year.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 the
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of
poverty
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 highest in sole parents,
while
 it is lowest in elderly
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
, and
also
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
rate of
poverty
 is represent
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
percentage
 when compared with
total
Add an article
a total
the total
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population of
Austrailans
Correct your spelling
Australians
people
. .
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 Looking at the table in more detail, we can see
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 11% of
Australians
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
people
 live in
poverty
 in 1999. The highest
percentage
 of
poverty
 in alone parents was 21 %, followed by single
people
 without children was 19%. The
thrid
Correct your spelling
third
show examples
 group who
struggle
Wrong verb form
struggled
show examples
 with
poverty
 was
couple
Fix the agreement mistake
couples
show examples
 with children was 12 %. Regarding
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
categories, the
couple
 without children and
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
 senior
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
was approximately have
Change the verb form
approximately had
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar values was 7% and 6% ,respectively. The older
couple
 is ad had the lowest
percentage
 of struggling with
povery
Correct your spelling
poverty
 compared to other group
people
 was 4%.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, poverty, couple, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: