Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, a large number of
people
are studying in universities all around the world.
While
some feel getting a better
job
is the final goal of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
education
, I side with those who think
society
and
people
benefit from
education
in universities. On the one hand, it could be argued that having a higher
education
is equal to having a better
job
in the future. Those in favour of
this
idea claim that usually educated
people
can get a high-profile
job
.
For example
,
usually
Add a comma
,usually
show examples
without having a master's in business, it is not possible to be a boss of a company, which has a better social reputation and better income. They
also
argue that many entry-level jobs do not need any
education
which supports their idea again.
However
, I side with those who believe the aim of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
education
is more than having a better
job
. First of all, they learn how to be a better person in their lives. By taking advantage of what they have learned in the
university
, their life approach would be completely different.
For example
, an educated mother is aware of the dangerous risks of not receiving vaccination for her child;
as a result
, she takes her child for vaccination regularly for having a healthy baby.
Besides
that,
this
awareness can help
society
at the same time. She is helping
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
system by getting her child vaccinated, reducing the number of
people
who get sick. If fewer bodies get sick, fewer patients go to the emergency department or hospital clinics which is a huge support to
society
.
However
, perhaps my strongest argument for
university
education
is having more educated
people
in
society
. Having highly educated
people
affect how they interact with each other, and
Submitted by Rosa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: