IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.

The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house. The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day.
#first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender
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There are two
charts
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
below,the
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 one
illustrate
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrates
show examples
 the percentages of
women
Use synonyms
 and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking,cleaning,pet caring and repairing the house).And the
second
Use synonyms
 one
describe
Change the verb form
describes
show examples
 the amount of time each gender spent on each
tasks
Change to a singular noun
task
show examples
 per day.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Each
Change the determiner
Every
show examples
 two
charts
Use synonyms
 show that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
females are slow
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
cleaing
Correct your spelling
cleaning
clearing
 and cooking than men(cooking is 80 and in
Correct article usage
the socond
show examples
socond
Correct your spelling
second
chart
Use synonyms
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that
women
Use synonyms
 finish
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cooking in 85
minutes
Use synonyms
,cleaning is 63
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
 and in
Use synonyms
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 is 69
minutes
Use synonyms
).
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
charts
Use synonyms
 describe that each gender
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 repairing
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
(
women
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 9% in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 and in
Use synonyms
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 exactly and men
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 19
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 19
minutes
Use synonyms
 in each
Use synonyms
charts
Change to a singular noun
chart
show examples
).
In addition
Linking Words
,caring
pet
Change preposition
for pet
show examples
also
Linking Words
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 like same(
women
Use synonyms
 in
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 is exactly 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and in
Use synonyms
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 20
minutes
Use synonyms
 and males are a bit more in
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
,
is
Correct pronoun usage
which is
show examples
 21
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,but in
Use synonyms
second
Add an article
the second
show examples
chart
Use synonyms
 each gender are same 20
minutes
Use synonyms
).
Submitted by Ayan on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words charts, women, second, chart, minutes, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 9 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "describe" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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