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Band 4.5

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of ths outweigh the disadvantages ?

#countries #people #diet #ths
In many nations, it is becoming increasingly common for every individual to follow a vegetarian
diet
 because It is very beneficial for the human
body
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Food
 is the first priority of our life
as well as
 here, many disadvantages of vegetarian
food
.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view in
this
 paragraph. On the one hand, lack of benefits of vegetarian
food
.
Firstly
, all
food
 is very healthy and increases
body
 growth gives protein
as well as
 vegetables fulfil multiple
vitamines
Correct your spelling
vitamins
show examples
 and good impact on bones, cells, brain.
Moreover
, educated people prefer a vegetarian
diet
 rather than a non-veg
diet
 because they saved animals and
environment
Add a missing verb
are environment
show examples
 friendly.
For example
, Many individuals
non-vegetarian
Add a missing verb
have non-vegetarian
show examples
 diets the reason is vegetarian
diet
Fix the agreement mistake
diets
show examples
bad
Add a missing verb
have bad
show examples
 effects on their bodies
such
 as tomatoes create stones in
kidneys
Correct article usage
the kidneys
show examples
, and blood pressure.
On the other hand
, In some ,countries people follow
non-vegetarian
Correct article usage
a non-vegetarian
show examples
diet
 because in their countries vegetarian
food
 is so expensive But they prefer a Vegetarian
diet
. It
is fulfil
Change the verb form
is fulfilled
show examples
 with a number of fibres that so
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
 positive energy.
Although
,
This
food
 is essay
disjust
Correct your spelling
disgust
 in
body
 and with fat.
For example
, Non-vegetarian
food
 creates in the
body
 very dangerous
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
 as obesity, cancer and heart attack.
Moreover
, It is a very harmful thing for animals, as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings
this
 is our responsibility that take care of nature and not create any environmental issues. In Inclusion, Vegetables are a very good source of
body
 growth
However
, It is easy to available
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because It is organic rather than
non-veg
Correct article usage
a non-veg
show examples
diet
 Nowadays, people are following rich fibre
food
 diets and are health conscious.
Submitted by PREETY  on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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