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Band 7

The two line graphs compare the percentage of houses which owned electrical appliances and how much time of housework which was costed in households in a specific country from 1920 to 2019.

The two line graphs compare the percentage of houses which owned electrical appliances and how much time of housework which was costed in households in a specific country from 1920 to 2019.
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The two-line graphs illustrate the percentage of households that had electrical appliances and how much time of
housework
Use synonyms
 which amounted to households in a particular region from 1920 to 2019.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1920 only 2 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of people used
refrigerators
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 30 per
cent
Use synonyms
 used
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners, and 40 per
cent
Use synonyms
 used washing machines. The number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 was 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
. In 1940, the usage of
refrigerators
Use synonyms
 increased to 55% as compared to the
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner and washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
 represented
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
60% and 50%. In the same
year
Add a comma
,year
show examples
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 for
housework
Use synonyms
 decreased to 35
hours
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in 1960 the fraction of usage for washing machine and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaner were the same
in contrast
Linking Words
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
refrigerator. 20
hours
Use synonyms
 a
week
Use synonyms
 was allocated for cleaning. In 1980 a decrease in the percentage use of washing machines was noted as compared to
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners and
refrigerators
Use synonyms
. About 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 was utilized for
housework
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in the year 2000 to 2019, 100 per
cent
Use synonyms
 of households had
refrigerators
Use synonyms
 and
vacuum
Use synonyms
 cleaners in comparison with washing machines 71 per
cent
Use synonyms
. There was a decline in number of
hours
Use synonyms
 spent on
housework
Use synonyms
 from 15
hours
Use synonyms
 to 11
hours
Use synonyms
.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words housework, cent, refrigerators, vacuum, hours, week with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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