IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that people should have a different amount of holidays according to their job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #amount #holidays #job
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We could all agree that effort and
sacarfice
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sacrifice
sacrifices
 are made in different careers,
therefore
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 every worker needs holidays to recharge and refresh their body and mind for better performance in the future. Some might argue one deserves more leave than the other. My personal opinion,
however
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, is leaning towards disagreeing with the idea and
this
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 essay would discuss the reasoning behind it.
To begin
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 with, it is accurate to claim that some jobs require more input than others, regardless
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of physically
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physically
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physical
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 or
mentally
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mental
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.
Nevertheless
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, the wage agreed between employer and employee should be a more accountable measurement to compensate for the time and intelligence spent on the job.
For example
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, a registered nurse with a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree, who is expected to take on more
advance
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advanced
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 tasks and responsibilities at the clinic, could
also
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 expect to be paid
higher
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a higher
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in
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apply
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salary than a
certificate
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Certificate
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 3 qualified support worker.
Furthermore
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, the idea to decide rather one’s task is more consuming than the rest would be vague and subjective. There is, arguably, a legit comparison between the values created in different industries,
nor
Correct word choice
and
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 job positions.
For instance
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, there is no objective measuring system to
weight
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weigh
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 out if a
medicine
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medical
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 profession requires more input than
a
Remove the article
apply
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law enforcement. In conclusion, I lean towards disagreement on the topic of if some should have more holidays based on their choice of occupation. It is mostly
due to
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 the lack of an accurate measuring system for the effort spent in a job,
as well as
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 my personal belief in the accountability of the salary system.
Submitted by shoukifong on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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