The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960-2000.

The two graphs below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960-2000.
The first line graph illustrates the percentage of people who smoke daily in the
USA
Japan and
Holland
,
while
the second graph depicts how much alcohol is consumed in litres per person in Turkey,
Holland
and
USA
. Both studies are done over a period of 40 years which began in 1960.
Overall
, the number of smokers decreased from 1960 to 2000,
while
the rate of alcohol consumption increased during the same period of time. The percentage of smokers in Japan gradually dropped from 50 % in 1960 to roughly 40 in 2000. At the same time in
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
USA
Add a comma
,USA
show examples
their number halved from 40 to nearly 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Holland
, in the first decade, noticed the highest rate of people who smoke, but after 1980 it became similar to Japan. What does the alochol consumtion shows? In Turkey, alcohol consumption slightly grew by just only 1%
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. It is evident that in
Holland
, the number of litres drank per person has considerably
grew
Change the verb form
grown
show examples
from under 4 to nearly 11 in just 20 years. In
1980c
Correct article usage
the 1980c
show examples
, the
USA
also
reached its peak but
then
both countries show a gradual decrease.
Submitted by iftenevlad on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words usa, holland with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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