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Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
The essential things for
students
 who studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 facilities for getting ready for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university and living in society. One of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these facilities is community service, of course, unpaid
moreover
,
this
 option has advantages
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
 it is helpful for having
experience
Change the article
the experience
show examples
 to do some exercise so some
people
 said that it would be compulsory. In the following of the
text
Add a comma
,text
show examples
 I will analyze
this
 topic and give my opinion.
Firstly
, we need to identify the profit and loss of mandatory
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
community
services
. The important benefit as I told
in
Correct pronoun usage
you in
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 paragraph is
Correct article usage
the experienced
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experienced
Replace the word
experience
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 to
done
Change the form of the verb
do
show examples
 some work for
people
 and
also
 know that what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teamwork.
However
, some
students
 find out
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
what they want in their future,
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
 who has
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 different future job and skill , can not get
benefit
Add an article
the benefit
show examples
 of it
for instance
this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of
students
 prefer
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
having time to research and
preparing
Wrong verb form
prepare
show examples
 some assay
instead
 of doing physicals
services
that is
 face to face of
people
.
Secondly
, when we say forcible, it
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
' motivation
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, if we say optional the attention of
students
 would
gone
Change the verb form
go
show examples
. So what we can do
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
 subject? we can make or do some
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
 to motivate
students
 for
following
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
services
for example
 set the gift for who
done
Add a missing verb
has done
show examples
 best and
also
 explain the benefit of
this
 workout and
after
Change preposition
apply
show examples
let the
students
 decide for themselves. Generally, my point of view is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 of these
people
 who said
students
 have to go to
this
 community
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
.
That is
 not good for
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
 of
students
 to choose what they want in their life because after
highschool
Correct your spelling
high school
show examples
 they should
diside
Correct your spelling
decide
 by themselves for living
sucsessfuly
Correct your spelling
successfully
. I agree with all things that
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 do
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
 the method of performing is important.
Submitted by y.maryam.2004 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • civic engagement
  • practical skills
  • real-world experiences
  • invaluable
  • burden
  • impinging
  • logistical challenges
  • suitable placements
  • quality assurance
  • promote engagement
  • enthusiasm
  • meaningful
  • impactful
What to do next:
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