Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#families #people #trend

These days, many families do not have close relationships as in the past and numerous

people

have adopted

this

change. The main reason for

this

trend

is that individuals are moving to have a better

life

. I believe that the demerit of

this

trend

far outweighs any supposed merits. The primary reason for

this

trend

is that numerous

people

opt to move to other places to find better work opportunities to improve their living standards.

This

is because they want to upgrade the way they live their

life

. To achieve

this

, they leave their hometown and with the passage of time, they lose connections with loved ones and soon get used to it.

For example

, my friend who went to Mumbai for work is not connected with relatives and his all loved ones complain about his behaviour. The main advantage of living away from the family is that there is no interference from family members in how they live their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

This

makes them more independent to decide on their own.

However

, when

people

live away from their family, they are not able to get guidance from experienced

people

in difficult situations,

Therefore

, it is more likely that they

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

wrong decisions which can ruin their

life

. In conclusion,

people

are moving away from their loved ones

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

because they

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

working in other cities and I believe that

this

trend

has more drawbacks as

people

are not surrounded by experienced family members over its merit of no interference of elderly

people

Submitted by iftenevlad on Fri Jun 30 2023

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task response

For task response, the essay provides a clear response to the questions posed and includes both the reasons for the trend and the weighing of advantages and drawbacks. However, there is room to improve the development of ideas and address all aspects of the topic.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, the essay demonstrates a clear overall structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the logical progression of ideas within paragraphs could be strengthened by providing more developed and connected examples and explanations.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Technological advancements
Social media
Face-to-face interaction
Geographical mobility
Generational differences
Individual independence
Personal growth
Mental health
Well-being
Family bonds
Cultural traditions
Familial support systems

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Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The rise of social media platforms has made it easier for people to vent their frustrations and complaints publicly. What is the consequence of this trend? Is there any benefit to expressing complaints on social media?

Some parents think that children should do extracurricular activities. Others think that this will give them pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The differences between countries are becoming less and less evident. People all over the world wear the same fashions, watch the same t.v. channels, use the same brands and have similar eating habits. Do you think that the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.