IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #show #information #crime #uk #year #summarise #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the correlation between
age
 and
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 in tens of thousands
while
 the pie chart represents the percentage of different sorts of
crime
 that occurred in the UK
last
 year.
Overall
 the number of
crimes
sky rocketed
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
show examples
 from 12
years
 and peaked at 20
years
. The
crime
 rate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tumbled down till 28
years
age
Change preposition
of age
show examples
,
then
 reached
plateau
Add an article
a plateau
show examples
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a gradual decrease. On the other side, violent
crimes
 occupy the greatest portion of the pie chart and
and
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
public order
crimes
 occupy the least. The acme of number of
crimes
 is 80 thousand which corresponds to the
age
 20
years
.
Absolute
Correct article usage
An absolute
show examples
 zero
crime
 rate is observed through
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 0-8
years
. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of types of
crime
 property
crime
 and drug
crime
 share almost equal portions. In conclusion, teenagers and young adults have the biggest contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate.
This
also
 reflects in the pie chart as people in
this
age
 group tend to be more emotionally driven and turn to aggression quickly.
Submitted by tanisha.tanzia on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, crime, crimes, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • The line graph depicts
  • The pie chart illustrates
  • reveals
  • displays
  • depicts
  • the trend of
  • the overall crime rate
  • steadily decreased
  • the distribution of
  • different types of crime
  • prevalent
  • accounts for
  • the most common crime
  • followed by
  • make up
  • a smaller proportion of
  • the total crimes
  • a smaller percentage
  • approximately
  • the remaining percentage
  • It is important to note that
  • reflects
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