There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#pressure #people #subjects #education #cookery #school #syllabus #children #work

The pressure to succeed academically is a growing concern for young people. Some individuals argue that non-academic

subjects

such

as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the

school

syllabus

so that children can focus on academic work. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and provide my own perspective on the issue. On the one hand, some individuals argue that non-academic

subjects

should be removed from the

school

syllabus

to allow

students

to concentrate on academic work. They argue that

this

will help

students

achieve better grades and increase their chances

Moreover

, they argue that in today's competitive job market, academic qualifications are more important than ever before, and

students

need to focus on academic

subjects

in order to succeed.

On the other hand

, there are several reasons why non-academic

subjects

should be included in the

school

syllabus

Firstly

, physical education is important for maintaining a healthy lifestyle and keeping

students

physically active.

Secondly

subjects

such

as cookery can teach important life skills and encourage healthy eating habits.

Additionally

, non-academic

subjects

can provide a break from the academic workload and help to reduce stress levels among

students

Finally

, non-academic

subjects

can provide opportunities for creativity and self-expression, which can be important for

overall

well-being and personal development. In conclusion,

while

academic success is important, non-academic

subjects

such

as physical education and cookery should not be removed from the

school

syllabus

. These

subjects

provide important life skills. and It can help to develop their habits

Submitted by bander445gh on Sat Jul 01 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, many people choose do not spend money in expensive consumer goods in their societies live. I belive that there are more benifits than backdraws of this topic, there is my opinion below.
7.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Several musicians advocate for various adaptations within music, positing that it facilitates global connections. I align with this assertion, as I believe that melodies possess the capacity to unite individuals from varying cultural backgrounds and promote mutual understanding.
<4
band
The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no doubt that social media influenced human life. While a faction of people holds the notion that it is enables social communication and content sharing. others argue that it is often bleaching the privacy more than ever before. This is essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my suppor for the former view with relevant illustrations.
5
band
Nowadays, the ratio of diseases triggered by manufactured foods has been increasing around the world. However, many people still prefer to eat them as the staple due to the inexpensive price. I strongly agree with the opinion that processed foods should be made more expensive than now.
This is a controversial issue regarding processed food as it contains high levels of unhealthy ingredients such as trans fat, sugars and sodium, which contribute to lifestyle disorders such as diabetes, hypertension and obesity. Although still some netizens believe in consuming frozen food because it is affordable, do not want to waste time in cooking. Although I agree with this statement to increase the prices of manufactured food items, I will explain with examples to support my views.
5
band
In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?
In modern days, entertainment is not only watching TV shows or going to some popular amusement park with our families but, we can entertain ourselves just by shopping. There are some downsides and advantages to this situation, therefore, in this essay I will discuss why we should agree this situation is negative for most developed countries.

Fully explain your ideas

Many people nowadays live in societies where consumer goods are relatively cheap Do you thing the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The promoters of social media claim that they are connecting people and enabling people to share like never before. While critics claim that social media site often impinges upon one’s privacy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the ratio of diseases triggered by manufactured foods has been increasing around the world. However, many people still prefer to eat them as the staple due to the inexpensive price. I strongly agree with the opinion that processed foods should be made more expensive than now.

In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development?