IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart below shows the proportion of Singaporean workers in various occupations in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the proportion of Singaporean workers in various occupations in 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
The graph chart illustrates the information about the portion of different professions and
age
Use synonyms
 teams that Singapore employees in 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is from the graph that all features experience different trends. Managers, Professional and Technical were the highest percentage in the
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 25 to 54
years
Use synonyms
 old.
However
Linking Words
, Clerical, Sales and Services reached the biggest percentage in the
age
Use synonyms
 above 55
years
Use synonyms
 old. It was followed by Production and Related at that
age
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Cleaners and Labourers are almost empty at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 35. As a graph shows, the
Manager
Fix the agreement mistake
Managers
show examples
, Professional and Technical got the many employees in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 54.
At the
Change preposition
The
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 34 reached approximately 60%
Use synonyms
workers
Change preposition
of workers
show examples
, around 45%
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 34
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 44
years
Use synonyms
 old, and stood at 39%
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 45 to 54
years
Use synonyms
 old.
However
Linking Words
, in the
age
Use synonyms
 of above 55, the Clerical, Sales and Service was the highest number of
workers
Use synonyms
 at around 24%. In
this
Linking Words
 case, it happens in the
age
Use synonyms
 45 to 54 that the second highest proportion after the purple feature.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Production and Related stand on the three highest that it happened in the
age
Use synonyms
 of 45 to 54 was about 22%. Followed by
workers
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
above 55
years
Use synonyms
 old, and the end in Singaporean
workers
Use synonyms
 by
age
Use synonyms
 group and occupation, 2005 the
age
Use synonyms
 of 25 to 34.
However
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the job of Cleaners and Labourers
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
showed almost nothing about Singapore
workers
Use synonyms
 at 25 to 34
years
Use synonyms
 old. Many Singapore employees were above 55
years
Use synonyms
 old.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, on the other hand".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, years, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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