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Band 5.5

As water is a valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use Do you agree or disagree

#water #resource #governments #world #control #citizens
It is popularly believed that
water
 has been being a precious source,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is why individuals should be managed by governments that how much
water
 they are using. I fully agree with
this
 condition.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 most
people
 claim that
people
 must
use
fresh
Correct article usage
the fresh
show examples
water
 they want .
This
 is because
water
 has been
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 for many purposes,
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
household chores.
In addition
,governments should supply
water
 to all homes at no cost.
Although
 most parts of the earth
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 covered by
water
 , some available places for using
water
 are extremely restricted.
However
, if governments strictly control the
use
 of
water
,
therefore
, it may cause health problems.
This
 is because
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
water
 is very significant to humans' health.
Furthermore
,
people
 who worry about how to comply with government rules will
under
Add a missing verb
be under
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pressure .
On the other hand
, these days ,
people
 do not think about how much
water
 they waste .Some
people
 are utilizing
water
 for unnecessary things
while
 others need to drink it .
As a result
, it causes a growth of lacking
water
 . In some areas
such
 as Africa,
people
 even die of thirst.
Moreover
, a huge amount of
water
 is polluted every year.
Water
 is polluted by some locals who used sources of
water
 namely lakes , rivers and
sea
Correct article usage
the sea
show examples
 . So
water
 saving is absolutely
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
. If it is controlled,
people
use
 it more responsibly. All in all , my view is that the most efficient way to protect
water
 recourse is
limiting
Change preposition
by limiting
show examples
water
use
 and preventing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
water
 pollution ,
also
 .
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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