Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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Most of the eatables available in the market contain high

sugar

Use synonyms

levels.

Sugar

Use synonyms

does enhance the taste and attracts many consumers towards it, but the caveat is, it

also

Linking Words

leads to many

health

Use synonyms

problems.

such

Linking Words

as high blood pressure and

high fat

Add a hyphen

high-fat

show examples

composition in the body which could

also

Linking Words

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to a lazy lifestyle. Increasing

prices

Correct article usage

the prices

show examples

such

Linking Words

articles could solve the problem but would that be the right way to solve

such

Linking Words

issues? I disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea. Even though it has some advantages, but a lot more downfalls. Businesses will be impacted by

such

Linking Words

a move, which might affect the

economy

Use synonyms

. On

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

top of that, consumers who enjoy

such

Linking Words

bevarages

Correct your spelling

beverages

and food with high

sugar

Use synonyms

content will have a dent

Change preposition

show examples

their pockets.

Everyone

Use synonyms

is responsible for their

health

Use synonyms

and

free

Replace the word

freedom

show examples

to choose the lifestyle they want.

By imposing

Change preposition

Imposing

show examples

such

Linking Words

policies where prices are increased for sugary

products

Use synonyms

can impact society on so many levels.

Firstly

Linking Words

, businesses in these

products

Use synonyms

will have to take a hit. Their sales will go down and less profit would be generated.

Hence

Linking Words

, less tax would be filed,

thus

Linking Words

impacting the

economy

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, the

sugar

Use synonyms

sales will go down causing more trouble for the

economy

Use synonyms

. A lot of people will go out of their jobs,

hence

Linking Words

disturbing the whole ecosystem.

This

Linking Words

could be a

disasterous

Correct your spelling

disastrous

move and will lead to more damage than good.

Secondly

Linking Words

everyone

Use synonyms

is responsible for their own

health

Use synonyms

and by imposing

such

Linking Words

policies we might affect the people who want to consume

high

Add a hyphen

high-sugar

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

drinks and food.

High

Add a hyphen

High-sugar

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

food

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

you feel relaxed and

Linking Words

also

Add a missing verb

is also

show examples

considered to be a good mood lifter. Increasing their prices will hit the pockets of folks who relish those items.

For instance

Linking Words

, they will have to spend more money on the grocery,

hence

Linking Words

reducing their savings. Shouldn't

everyone

Use synonyms

have the freedom to choose what they want to consume

Change the punctuation

show examples

Everyone

Use synonyms

is responsible for their own

health

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I would say

everyone

Use synonyms

is free to choose the type of lifestyle they want to

folow

Correct your spelling

and the kind of

products

Use synonyms

they want to consume. Forcefully pushing people not to consume

high

Add a hyphen

high-sugar

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

will hardly do any good. It will impact businesses and the

economy

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

erode the saving capacity of folks who still want to go for it.

sameersharmargMon Jul 03 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

387 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others offer free entry. In my opinion, the benefits of free admission outweigh the drawbacks.

you recently noticed a local restaurant that was offering a part time job. write a letter to the restaurant manager. in your letter, explain that you would like to apply for the job , give some details of any relevant experience that you have, specify the days and times that would suit you

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is, therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.