The chart below show the propostions of Bristish students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, In 2000 and 2010.

The chart below show the propostions of Bristish students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, In 2000 and 2010.
The presented pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the ratio of different
language speaking
Add a hyphen
language-speaking
show examples
students
from England, who can talk in English too in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
, in the year 2000 Spanish speakers were in the highest
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
percentage, which was 35%. After that, 20%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not know about other languages
besides
English. 15%
Change preposition
of pupil
show examples
pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
show examples
can talk in French
language
and another
language
as well.
Last
Correct article usage
The last
show examples
10
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
belonged to Germany spoken
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
and
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
show examples
who can speak 2 other languages.
Whereas
in the age 2010, 10%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
can
spoke
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
no other
language
, French, and German. By focusing, Spanish spoken
students
5% increased from the stage 2000.
In
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
year the rate was 35%. In both sectors
another
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
language
and two other languages spoken pupils ratio
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
inclined by 5%.
Submitted by kaynath87 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: