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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below show the propostions of Bristish students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, In 2000 and 2010.

The chart below show the propostions of Bristish students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, In 2000 and 2010.
#show #propostions #bristish #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
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The presented pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the ratio of different
Use synonyms
language speaking
Add a hyphen
language-speaking
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students
Use synonyms
 from England, who can talk in English too in the years 2000 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the year 2000 Spanish speakers were in the highest
in
Change preposition
apply
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percentage, which was 35%. After that, 20%
Use synonyms
students
Change preposition
of students
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does
Change the verb form
do
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 not know about other languages
besides
Linking Words
 English. 15%
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of pupil
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pupil
Fix the agreement mistake
pupils
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 can talk in French
language
Use synonyms
 and another
language
Use synonyms
 as well.
Linking Words
Last
Correct article usage
The last
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 10
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 belonged to Germany spoken
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
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 and
learner
Fix the agreement mistake
learners
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 who can speak 2 other languages.
Whereas
Linking Words
 in the age 2010, 10%
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students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 can
spoke
Change the verb form
speak
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 no other
language
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, French, and German. By focusing, Spanish spoken
students
Use synonyms
 5% increased from the stage 2000.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 year the rate was 35%. In both sectors
another
Correct determiner usage
the
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language
Use synonyms
 and two other languages spoken pupils ratio
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 inclined by 5%.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words language, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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