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Band 4

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Dose this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #dose #situation
The given bar chart illustrates the difficulties
people
 encounter when they are travelling overseas and how the problems influence each period of
age
. In general, from adolescence to old
age
,
people
 encounter comparable issues that vary in degree. Meanwhile, in most cases, the percentage of middle-aged
people
 who face three main challenges is substantially more than the other groups. Sorting healthcare is a significant
concern
 for approximately 37% of the middle-aged from 35 to 54 and about 36% of the older adults over 55. Young adults aged 18 to 34
also
 share
this
concern
, with nearly one-third worrying about health care. Thirty-five percent of the middle
age
group
 experiences the highest amount of financial issues, in comparison to other
age
 groups.
Nevertheless
,
this
 issue
also
 holds the second position among young adults' concerns, accounting for approximately 34% of their choices and the lowest proportion in
this
 problem is
people
 over 55 years old with only 29%. With roughly 19% of the middle
age
group
 facing the challenge of finding a suitable school for their children, it becomes their primary
concern
. Meanwhile, the older
age
group
 holds a tiny portion of the same
concern
, and just over 5% of the young
group
 is
also
 affected by it.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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