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Band 6.5

when choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
It is argued that income has a significant role in selecting a career nowadays.
While
 salary is an undeniable factor in choosing a profession, I personally believe that
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 is more than a paycheck and other criteria should be taken into account. On the one hand, no one can ever deny the significance of income when considering jobs. Actually, a profession is required to provide necessary facilities and well-being.
For example
, buying a modern refrigerator can increase the quality of life and make it easier. To be specific, the more money one earns, the easier life can get.
Moreover
, a
financially-rewarding
Correct your spelling
financially rewarding
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 career can help us achieve our goals and fulfil our dreams. To put it more simply, a higher salary can create the opportunity
of investing
Change preposition
to invest
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 in some industries including cryptocurrency which can double our credit and guarantee us a successful life.
Thus
, it can be said that money needs to be considered
while
 selecting a
job
.
On the other hand
, it is widely accepted that other elements should be reviewed before applying for an occupation. The position in a
job
 is absolutely important which means the
job
 needs to be a source of pride and respect. In fact, superiors should create a positive rapport with their employees because
job
Add an article
the job
a job
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 is not just some extrinsic factors but intrinsic factors
also
 should be provided including happiness and appreciation.
Furthermore
, the specific career
also
 needs to offer a social position that can improve the personality characteristics of a worker.
For instance
, a person who is a teacher possesses a higher social position than a vendor who is selling fruits
in particular
 in some underdeveloped countries in which fruit sellers gain a higher income.
As a result
, it is fair to say that other social and psychological reasons
also
 have a part in taking part in a profession. In conclusion,
although
 payment has a key role in
this
 century, I think that other motivators outweigh the wage when we face a choice of an occupation.
Submitted by kambiz.pirzad on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to the essay question. This will help improve the logical structure of the essay and maintain focus on the topic.
task achievement
Pay attention to directly addressing all aspects of the essay question. Make sure to provide balanced arguments and support them with relevant examples to demonstrate clear and comprehensive ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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