IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many crimes are often related to the consumption of alcohol some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to ban alcohol. Do you think this is an effective measure against crime? What other solution can you suggest

#crimes #consumption #alcohol #people #crime #rate #ban #measure
Some individuals believe that the ultimate way of
crime
control
 is to ban
alcohol
 because
crime
 rates are mostly associated with
alcohol
 addiction. I personally do not agree with
this
 viewpoint because people who commit crimes have the chance of
alcohol
 dependency so, only an
alcohol
 ban would not be an effective solution to
control
crime
. To start with, sociologists believe that
alcohol
 consumption is somehow related to the existence of
crime
 in
society
 because of two reasons.
For instance
, either people engage in
crime
 to afford the cost of
alcohol
 or they involve in the smuggling of
alcohol
 which is a form of
crime
.
However
,
instead
 of these two types of ,
crime
 there are other forms of
crime
 that exist in
society
 and there is no proof that only
alcohol
-related
crime
 prevails the
society
.
Therefore
, if the state only concentrates on the prohibition of
alcohol
 that would be helpful to
control
crime
 but would not reach the goal to establish a
crime
-free
society
. Controlling
crime
 can be accomplished by taking various measures.
For example
, the primary step could be taken to
control
crime
 in
society
 by creating adequate opportunities for employment in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
 because the unemployment problem is a significant reason for
crime
 among young adults. The secondary step could be taken by upgrading correctional service in the prison because those who
involve
Wrong verb form
are involved
show examples
 in
crime
 once and go to jail have a high chance to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in
crime
 again.
Hence
, an updated proper correctional service should be implemented by the state which would ensure not only the correction of the prisoners but
also
 their empowerment and enlightenment.
To conclude
, banning
alcohol
 would help to
control
crime
 in some ways but might not help to fully eradicate it from
society
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government
show examples
 should consider other measures to
control
crime
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
Well done on addressing the prompt and expressing your opinion clearly throughout the essay. You have provided a balanced argument on the effectiveness of banning alcohol to reduce crime rates.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-developed introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The ideas are logically organized and connected, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • consumption of alcohol
  • effective measure
  • ban alcohol
  • contribute to
  • types of crimes
  • other solutions
  • reduce the crime rate
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • stricter law enforcement
  • penalties
  • support
  • rehabilitation
  • alcohol addicts
  • root causes of crime
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