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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graphs below show the different reasons of two group of students to choose Dorrifod University Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant.

The graphs below show the different reasons of two group of students to choose Dorrifod University Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and mae comparisons with relevant.
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The two pie
chart
Use synonyms
 display about different reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
 to choose Dorrifod University. In the
first
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 information is given on the age group between 18-24 and in the other diagram the age group is 25 and over. In the
first
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
chart
Add a comma
,chart
show examples
 36% of people give
first
Use synonyms
 choice to those universities which are close to their house and 35% of
students
Use synonyms
 select those unis which offer more number of courses. 2% of
students
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 go to whose college which staff is reputed. Facilities are given less importance which is around 14%. 9% of children go that college which provides the opportunity to study abroad and 4% of people choose related to the industry. In another
chart
Use synonyms
 39% of
students
Use synonyms
 choose a university near home , 12% of children select well-reputed teachers, 2% people choose a good campus, 3%
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
choose
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
basic
Replace the word
basis
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
opportunity to study abroad as part of the course, 24% are selecting which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 all types of course and 20% goes for related to
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
. From the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
diagram
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 preface is given to the near place and after that different course offered is
also
Linking Words
 important.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chart, students, first with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graphs
  • reasons
  • choose
  • Dorrifod University
  • summarize
  • information
  • selecting
  • reporting
  • main features
  • make comparisons
  • relevant
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