Some people believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

#people #tv #computer #games #books

In today's rapid age of modernization, thanks to the advance in technology, individuals tend to spend a significant amount of their time surfing the internet on their electronic devices, particularly youngsters. Many people have reservations about

this

behaviour and suggest that those citizens should opt for reading when it comes to recreational activities. In

this

essay, I will elaborate on the reasons why I partly agree with

this

statement and propose my opinion on

this

topic

Firstly

regarding mental health,

due to

the development of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social platforms, individuals can access a range of entertainment channels which can contain toxic content like adult-related or violent scenes.

However

, it is a struggle to separate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

useful channels from highly uneducational ones that can result in negative impacts on their viewers. To illustrate, as for some articles published on daily news, there is an increase in the number of murder cases in which the criminal was the juvenile who found himself obsessed with

bloody

Correct article usage

the bloody

show examples

games he played online.

Secondly

, since technology has become an integral part of modern life

while

all essential tasks can be implemented by electric gadgets, watching on the screen for a long time can have a detrimental effect on our eyes.

Therefore

, entertainment time using smartphones or computers should be limited to around one or two hours a day to ensure

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

optimal health.

In addition

, there are several why reading should be high on the agenda in terms of

relaxing

Replace the word

relaxation

show examples

To begin

with, parents can decide on the types of books for their kids with educational content.

Besides

, reading is proven to boost our brain function and improve our memory. In brief, it seems to me that the benefits of books outweigh the temptation of smart devices. Parents should have a tight schedule in which their youngsters can use technology for specific purposes

instead

of watching videos and playing games only.

Submitted by nguyenvutrucmy on Fri Jul 07 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

314 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure time
passive entertainment
active mental engagement
foster
complex concepts
screen time
concentration and focus
counterargument
cognitive development
problem-solving skills
balanced approach
diverse media landscape
multi-modal learning

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Some people believe that watching TV and playing computer games should be limited and substituted by reading books. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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