Many parents are concerned about the violent computer games or movies or leisure activities. How can this impact children? What can be done to solve this problem?
There is a common belief that
computer
games
and others
websites on the internet may bring violence to teenagers.As far as Correct quantifier usage
other
Iam
concerned ,Correct your spelling
I am
this
phenomenon can result in serious problems,which can be tackled using appropricate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
miasures
.
It is possible said that Correct your spelling
measures
this
issue may be
lead to some harmful effects on Unnecessary verb
apply
children
's brain development.To begin
with,young children
are exposed to violence from these sources, and they learn about the negativity that drives people to commit crimes like robbery and murder or even suicide via movies and video games
.For instance
,as a research in 2013 in America ,about 90 percent
of students at the age of 16 who love playing violent Change the spelling
per cent
computer
games
are
all make incorrect decisions.Unnecessary verb
apply
This
is because they are felling
excited when do something violent like violent Correct your spelling
feeling
games
in the
real life.Correct article usage
apply
Beside
,Replace the word
Besides
this
trend can make the youths be virtual violent when using them so much.In UK
,Correct article usage
the UK
at
the era of 90s,the ratio of criminals Change preposition
in
were
increased highly,most of them are Unnecessary verb
apply
at
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
age
Replace the word
aged
from
14 to 20,and be cached by Change preposition
apply
polices
in Correct subject-verb agreement
police
the
situation of delusion.
Correct article usage
apply
However
,despite the bad effects,parents can still find solutions to this
issue and contribute to their scion's growth. One of them is that parents must become more careful and closely advice
what their kids watch on the television or on the Replace the word
advise
computer
. They need to educate their young one's
and involve them in social work if they observe bad behaviour in them. It helps them to become docile and know what is right to do. Change noun form
ones
Also
, the government and regulators must ensure that these violent programs are not telecast during prime time when all family members including children
watch television.
To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
with
,there are amount of disadvantages Change preposition
apply
with
Change preposition
to
computer
games
and it seems that parents need to exercise caution and monitor their children
's activity since games
can be bring
bad Change the verb form
bring
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
to
their Change preposition
on
childs
.Correct your spelling
children
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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