The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.
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The pie chart displays the result of a survey of kids' activities. The first graph illustrates the cultural and free time activities that
boys
Use synonyms
participate in
whereas
Linking Words
the
second
Use synonyms
graph shows the activities in which
girls
Use synonyms
participate.
Overall
Linking Words
, computer games are mostly preferred by
boys
Use synonyms
than
girls
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
reading is the
favourite
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for
girls
Use synonyms
apart from these both the genders have a wide variety of interests. nearly a third of
boys
Use synonyms
spend more time on computer games which is the most
favourite
Use synonyms
activity
Use synonyms
among male children with approximately one-quarter of
boys
Use synonyms
preferring basketball as the
second
Use synonyms
most
favourite
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while
Linking Words
17 per cent of
boys
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chose soccer as their third most preferred game and a small minority with 11,10 per cent spend on skateboarding ,listening to music. roughly one-quarter of
girls
Use synonyms
spend more time dancing which is their
favourite
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activity
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
to the boy's preferences reading is chosen by 21 per cent which is the
second
Use synonyms
most
favourite
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for girl children.
although
Linking Words
,among female children who play computer games is twice less than that of
boys
Use synonyms
(18%)
this
Linking Words
activity
Use synonyms
is third most popular on the girl's chart.a small portion(15) preferred netball as the
second
Use synonyms
least
activity
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and the least popular leisure is listening to music with a proportion of 10% equal to those on the first chart.
Submitted by manoj.ysg1999 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words boys, second, girls, favourite, activity with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey
  • cultural activities
  • leisure activities
  • participate
  • percentage
  • gender difference
  • similar participation rates
  • traditional gender roles
  • trends
  • impact
  • parental influence
  • extracurricular activities
  • accessible
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