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Writing Samples
Band 5

In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #food #restaurants #supermarkets #money #schools #products #development
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Irrefutably, businessmen influence people's minds towards buying their
products
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, globally.
Moreover
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, fast
food
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companies
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 tie up with
schools
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 to promote the sale of their
products
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. I fervently believe that
this
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 is a destructive evolution of our society, as youngsters will spend
money
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 carelessly.
Also
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, eating fast
food
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 on a daily basis will lead to obesity among
students
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. I shall discuss the same in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are rational contributing factors which are associated with why prepacked
food
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companies
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 should not contact
schools
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 to influence children's minds to proliferate the sale of their
products
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.
For instance
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, if an educational institution is endorsing
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
 teenagers blindly want to buy it, whether they require it or not. To be more specific, in China,
students
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 spend most of their pocket
money
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 on buying unhealthy canned
food
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 at their
schools
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’ canteens even if they
got
Wrong verb form
get
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 their lunch boxes because
food
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companies
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 trick youngsters.
Additionally
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, if
schools
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 encourage
students
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 to save
money
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 and use it for educational purposes or some humanitarian aid organisations
instead
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 of buying packed
food
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, unnecessarily,
students
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 will learn to use their
money
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 in a productive way.
Furthermore
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,
food
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companies
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' selfish motives are bringing detrimental effects on adults’ physical
as well as
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 mental health.
For example
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,
students
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' analytical and problem-solving skills are affected after eating processed
food
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 regularly, during recess or lunch. Because fast
food
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 augments drowsiness
as well as
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 diminishes concentration.
Besides
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, some of the scholars
also
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 face obesity owing to the habit of eating fast
food
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 on a regular basis
such
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 as burgers, sandwiches, and fries inside educational campuses because their school or college endorse
such
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products
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. To elaborate,
students
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 who live in dormitories or hostels are unhealthy and fat
due to
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 their habit of eating fast
food
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, promoted by restaurants and
food
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companies
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 inside their campus.
To conclude
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, I strongly believe that
tie
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 up of
schools
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 with fast
food
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companies
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 is an obtuse approach as it
led
Wrong verb form
leads
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 towards unwise use of
money
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 by the
students
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.
Along with
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this
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, scholars' cognitive abilities are affected, and they
also
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 tend to face obesity when they are trapped under the influence of eating packed
food
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 every day.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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task response
Ensure that you directly address the prompt and provide a clear opinion on whether the influence of fast food companies on schools is a positive or negative development. Additionally, support your position with specific reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively by providing a clearer introduction that introduces the main points you will discuss and a conclusion that summarizes your main ideas.
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