In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Irrefutably, businessmen influence people's minds towards buying their
products
, globally.
Moreover
, fast
food
companies
tie up with
schools
to promote the sale of their
products
. I fervently believe that
this
is a destructive evolution of our society, as youngsters will spend
money
carelessly.
Also
, eating fast
food
on a daily basis will lead to obesity among
students
. I shall discuss the same in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, there are rational contributing factors which are associated with why prepacked
food
companies
should not contact
schools
to influence children's minds to proliferate the sale of their
products
.
For instance
, if an educational institution is endorsing
product
Correct article usage
a product
show examples
teenagers blindly want to buy it, whether they require it or not. To be more specific, in China,
students
spend most of their pocket
money
on buying unhealthy canned
food
at their
schools
’ canteens even if they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
their lunch boxes because
food
companies
trick youngsters.
Additionally
, if
schools
encourage
students
to save
money
and use it for educational purposes or some humanitarian aid organisations
instead
of buying packed
food
, unnecessarily,
students
will learn to use their
money
in a productive way.
Furthermore
,
food
companies
' selfish motives are bringing detrimental effects on adults’ physical
as well as
mental health.
For example
,
students
' analytical and problem-solving skills are affected after eating processed
food
regularly, during recess or lunch. Because fast
food
augments drowsiness
as well as
diminishes concentration.
Besides
, some of the scholars
also
face obesity owing to the habit of eating fast
food
on a regular basis
such
as burgers, sandwiches, and fries inside educational campuses because their school or college endorse
such
products
. To elaborate,
students
who live in dormitories or hostels are unhealthy and fat
due to
their habit of eating fast
food
, promoted by restaurants and
food
companies
inside their campus.
To conclude
, I strongly believe that
tie
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
up of
schools
with fast
food
companies
is an obtuse approach as it
led
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
towards unwise use of
money
by the
students
.
Along with
this
, scholars' cognitive abilities are affected, and they
also
tend to face obesity when they are trapped under the influence of eating packed
food
every day.
Submitted by varindervarinder1996 on

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task response
Ensure that you directly address the prompt and provide a clear opinion on whether the influence of fast food companies on schools is a positive or negative development. Additionally, support your position with specific reasons and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more effectively by providing a clearer introduction that introduces the main points you will discuss and a conclusion that summarizes your main ideas.

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