It has been more than 40 years since man first landed on the moon. Some people think that space research is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More than 100 years ago , humanity started investing in space research and got to the point where a man landed on the moon. I strongly disagree that spending on new space discoveries is a waste of money. I am going to present my reasons in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, our galaxy is a place that ,once it
will be
Wrong verb form
is
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explored, will make humanity evolve. Even though
this
type of Universe research takes a lot of time, the results will change the way Terra works: there would be new water resources, and new gas resources and,
consequently
, the global economy will change positively.
Additionally
,the costs of living will be lowered and life in general will be much easier .
For example
, if we find a new planet with lots of gas supplies , the costs of gas on Terra will drop.
Secondly
, searching for new information in
Universe
Correct article usage
the Universe
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leads to chances for Individuals to find a new planet , similar to Terra.
This
means that even though the Water Panet is not big enough for how much population is expected to have in the following years , a new planet ensures capacity for all of the next generations.
For instance
, if the population of our floating globe
will be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
100 trillion, we won't have enough area so, the discovery of territory may save millions of lives. In conclusion, I disagree that spending on new space discoveries is a waste of money not only because the new findings in our galaxy will lead to a better global economy ,but
also
will ensure resources for the next generations.
Submitted by zaineajessica on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the context and introduces your opinion. The reader should understand your position from the beginning.
task achievement
You need to address the task more explicitly by providing a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, even though you mentioned examples to support your argument, you should also consider the opposing viewpoint.
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