IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
Many
students
 have different thoughts about the
lessons
 they are studying at the university,
such
 as some
students
 think it is better to focus on the major
subjects
,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 believe additional
subjects
 should be taught. In my opinion, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
universities, teachers should teach various additional
subjects
.
People
 who think
students
 should give all attention to studying only main
subjects
 often argue that unrelated
lessons
 cause
time
waste
Add the particle
to waste
show examples
 and it has a negative effect on specialization. They think additional
lessons
 are potential distractions and they do not have
play
Fix the infinitive
to play
show examples
 any role in their future career. These
people
 claim that for achieving
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 career, the most logical pathway is preparing diligently for specializing in one profession.
For example
, it is boring for every economics student to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lessons
 about health care or other unrelated topics which can waste their
time
 and can affect their final exam scores. Despite the understandable reasons why some
people
 are in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of focusing on major
subjects
, I believe taking
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lessons
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 additional
subjects
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 different advantages. These
lessons
 can help
students
 in different aspects of their future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and make them more
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
people
. I,
however
, believe that specialization is not enough for being successful in all fields,
also
 workers have to be knowledgeable about different topics. Because most of the sectors are related to each other and additional
lessons
 can create
students’
Change noun form
students
show examples
 different opportunities,
such
 as creativity.
Although
 I accept these
lessons
 can steal the
time
 of
students
 which they can spend
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 major topics, I believe university superiors and teachers can solve
this
 problem.
For example
, universities can give chance to
students
 to choose these additional
subjects
 based on their own interests and do not take a final exam. In conclusion,
while
 there are some reasonable reasons why some
students
 do not want to take various additional classes, I believe these
subjects
 are very important and they do not have to see them as a
time
 waste.
Submitted by aslanlijavidan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: