Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, some individuals argued that all students who are studying at

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have to understand what the

work

Use synonyms

is and they should spend

time

Use synonyms

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

Use synonyms

jobs for couple

hours

Change preposition

of hours

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

day

as well as

Linking Words

studying at school. From my perspective,

this

Linking Words

idea can lead to a good result.

However

Linking Words

, I have some doubts

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

Linking Words

concept. So, in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will

further

Linking Words

explore

this

Linking Words

thought-provoking question.

To begin

Linking Words

with, it

definitely

Add a missing verb

is definitely

show examples

clear that not all

children

Use synonyms

will agree to

work

Use synonyms

after school.

For instance

Linking Words

, many students have extra lessons, they do sports .

As a result

Linking Words

, working after school will just disturb them from their everyday life.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is

evidently

Change the word

evident

show examples

that these

children

Use synonyms

will not earn a lot of money.

Thus

Linking Words

, all

time

Use synonyms

which they will spend at

work

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

subject

Add an article

a subject

the subject

show examples

Wrong verb form

doing

show examples

sport will not pay them back.

Moreover

Linking Words

, after

work

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

will be exhausted and they will not have

power

Correct article usage

the power

show examples

for other activities.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, childhood and teenage years they for fun and chilling ,

instead

Linking Words

of,

Use synonyms

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

somewhere as a matter of fact you will have all your adulthood

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

working somewhere.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, someone can like it.

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

opportunity will provide you

useful

Change preposition

with useful

show examples

experience.

For example

Linking Words

, if you

work

Use synonyms

Change preposition

as a

show examples

waiter you can improve your social skills.

Secondly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

from poor families could have

desire

Add an article

a desire

the desire

show examples

work

Use synonyms

, in order to earn extra money for their selves or for their families.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, you can meet and communicate with new people ,

hence

Linking Words

, you can

wide

Replace the word

widen

show examples

your horizon.

Also

Linking Words

, all

children

Use synonyms

will become more conscious. In conclusion, for some group of

Use synonyms

children

Add a comma

,children

show examples

this

Linking Words

idea

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

sense.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, I

against

Add a missing verb

am against

show examples

this

Linking Words

concept because

children

Use synonyms

will have

time

Use synonyms

for

work

Use synonyms

in their adulthood.

In contrast

Linking Words

, in

childhood

Add a comma

,childhood

show examples

they need to play with their friends, hang out,

attend

Correct word choice

and attend

show examples

extra lessons and

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

sections.

slobodanatol83Wed Jul 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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21
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

310 words

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Some people suggest that children do not understand the world of work and schools should make all teenagers spend a short time working as well as studying academic subjects. To what extent do you agree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Every day, millions of tons of food are wasted all over the world. Why do you think this is happening? And how can we solve this problem?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Discuss both views and give reasons.

Some countries achieve international success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?