IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The given pie charts illustrates the propotions od visits to Ireland one year ago by age group, and by gender and type of visit.

The given pie charts illustrates the propotions od visits to Ireland one year ago by age group, and by gender and type of visit.
#propotions #od #visits #ireland #year #age #group #gender #type #visit
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The given pie charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the
propotions
Correct your spelling
proportions
od
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 visits to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 one year ago by age group, and by gender and type of visit.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
majorite
Correct your spelling
majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
travel
Change the verb form
travels
show examples
 to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 to spend
theit
Correct your spelling
their
 leisure time.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Replace the word
aged
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 25 to 34 and 45 to 54 have the highest
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of visits to
Ireland
Use synonyms
. It is
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
 that males (43%) and females (40%)
traveled
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travelled
show examples
 to
Ireland
Use synonyms
 to spend their free time
last
Linking Words
 year,
whereas
Linking Words
 only 13
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males and 4
persent
Correct your spelling
per cent
 of females visited
Ireland
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
visit
Fix the agreement mistake
visits
show examples
. The
people
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 from 25 to 34 years old and from 45 to 54 years old have the significant and
also
Linking Words
 the same proportions just about 23%.
However
Linking Words
, children and teenagers seemed less interested to travel to
Ireland
Use synonyms
. Because their proportion is only 6%. It is older
people
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 who have more percentage than children and teenagers, just about 9-11%.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ireland, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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