IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999

The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999
#time #tv #age #gender #uk
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The given bar chart illustrates the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 allocated to watching
TV
Use synonyms
 in a particular
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 (from 4
years
Use synonyms
 old until over 65
years
Use synonyms
 old) both for males and females weekly in Britain in two different
years
Use synonyms
 (1995 and 1999).
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent watching
TV
Use synonyms
 in England underwent an upward trend for women in every
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
, except for men in childhood, teenage, and adult
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
. The highest number in allocating
time
Use synonyms
 for watching
TV
Use synonyms
 was in elderly people, and the lowest was in the children
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
. Looking into detail,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 people in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 over 65
years
Use synonyms
 old allocated the most
time
Use synonyms
 to watch
TV
Use synonyms
 accounting for over 30
hours
Use synonyms
 compared to those in the 4-15
group
Use synonyms
 of
age
Use synonyms
 only contributing under 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Similarly
Linking Words
, people 55-64
years
Use synonyms
 old donate more than 25
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly,
while
Linking Words
 those 45-54
years
Use synonyms
 old only gave below 25
hours
Use synonyms
 over the given period.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the figure for the 25-34
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 allocated just about under 26
hours
Use synonyms
 per week compared to those in 4-15
only
Correct pronoun usage
who only
show examples
 contribute under 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, tv, age, group, years, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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