IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Tourism today creates a variety of problems, such as pollution due to flights, transport and dirty water. Do you think that governments should impose extra taxes on flights or accommodation to restrict today’s tourism industry?

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Today's
tourism
Use synonyms
 industry contributes to numerous issues, including pollution from flights, transportation, and contaminated water.
Thus
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, there is a
believe
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belief
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 that only through the imposition of additional levies on flights or accommodations by governments can we combat the impact of
tourism
Use synonyms
. I agree with the aforementioned statement, as even if
this
Linking Words
 issue might seem insurmountable, taxes have the potential to substantially mitigate the subsequent pollution.
To begin
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 with,
aircrafts
Correct your spelling
aircraft
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 and alternative forms of transportation use deleterious fuel, which has already caused significant environmental damage, the consequences are unavoidable.
However
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, imposing additional taxes could reduce the demand for air travel and encourage tourists to choose more sustainable options.
Moreover
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, even if people will still be using
the
Correct article usage
apply
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air transport and its ubiquity is widespread, scientists assure that taxes will make certain visible alterations.
For instance
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, the ones who are cautiously optimistic about the presented solution are the scientists from The Association of Environment Protectors, who have conducted
a
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apply
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long-term research, providing empirical
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 that the utilization of aeroplanes will be minimized by 15%.
Additionally
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, a considerable majority of tourists, approximately 95%, require accommodation
while
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 travelling, whether for leisure or business purposes.
Furthermore
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, what causes water and soil contamination are anthropogenic factors, exemplified by industrial waste, agricultural run-off, and improper waste disposal. By preventing unnecessary travel and implementing strict regulations on destructive
tourism
Use synonyms
 practices, governments can significantly alleviate human-caused impacts on our environment.
To conclude
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,
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
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 industry poses environmental challenges and what should be done to tackle those obstacles is
tax hiking
Add a hyphen
tax-hiking
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.

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coherence cohesion
While your introduction sets the context effectively, try to make it clearer what your main points will be. This would help in giving a more structured outlook.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph expands on a single idea clearly. For example, separate the discussions about transportation and accommodation into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.
task achievement
Further elaborate on your examples to make your points more convincing. For instance, explain how reduced air travel from tax implications directly benefits the environment.
task achievement
Avoid overly complex sentences; simpler sentence structures can often convey ideas more clearly. Try to break down long sentences to make your argument easier to follow.
task achievement
You’ve addressed the question directly and provided a clear standpoint on the issue, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively summarize your points, providing a sense of completeness to the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • ecological impact
  • sustainability
  • eco-friendly
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental degradation
  • economic dependency
  • tax revenue
  • sustainable tourism
  • regulation
  • policy measures
  • consumer behavior
  • incentives
  • disincentives
  • green tourism
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