Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development? (Write 250 words.)
Nowadays,
over
the world are concerned about the work-life balance which could provide the happiness for population and encourage them to Rephrase
all over
priorities
other things in Replace the word
prioritise
live
apart from work. Many countries publish the enforcement about Replace the word
life
Add an article
the restriction
restriction
of working hours since the overwork load and support Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
manufacture’s
workers which lead to an effective impact on society.
One of the biggest factors that the regulation Change noun form
manufacture
was
generated is Unnecessary verb
apply
that
the attempt of Correct word choice
apply
government
to improve Add an article
the government
work-life
balance of residents’ way of life. Since the growth of the globalization era unconscious forced people to work hard. Technological development provides the opportunity for working without the place and time conditions, people have less leisure Add an article
the work-life
times
and overloaded tasks. Fix the agreement mistake
time
In addition
, the law could protect workers due to
the advantage-taking from corporates. Some employees lack of
knowledge about Remove the preposition
apply
the
human resources enforcement, Correct article usage
apply
thus
they could probably mislead
Wrong verb form
be misled
of
the working period. Change preposition
by
For example
, firms did not pay for the overtime rate for who
working longer than the usual session.
Correct pronoun usage
those
Furthermore
, the controlled working hours law is an effective improvement in society. As it
encourages workers that the most essential thing in their life is not only a career but Correct word choice
It
also
the relationship, family and health. If they give the first priority on
careers and put effort Change preposition
to
of
both body and mind, they probably have to exchange with uncurable or chronic diseases. Change preposition
into
Furthermore
, the happiness rate will be enhanced by the regulation. If people can work in
an appropriate Change preposition
at
timing
and take a proper rest, they will Replace the word
time
more
Add a missing verb
be more
delight
Replace the word
delighted
on
their career and Change preposition
in
quality
of life could be better.
In conclusion, the confinement of Correct pronoun usage
their quality
working
period is Correct article usage
the working
a
heart of the workforce Correct article usage
the
in
these days. Even though the development of globalization and the exploited companies drive the over-workload, the enforcement could efficiently cope with Change preposition
apply
this
phenomenon.Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each. Starting with an introduction that presents the topic and your opinion, followed by body paragraphs each discussing a particular point, and concluding with a summary or restatement of your view helps improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to show the connections between ideas more clearly. Words like 'however', 'for instance', and 'as a result' can guide the reader through your argument, enhancing the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. You've given reasons why hours are limited and you lean towards seeing this as positive, but more explicit evaluation of why this is positive or negative would strengthen your task achievement. Include more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and comprehension, focus on sentence structure and punctuation. Avoid run-on sentences by separating ideas into manageable parts. This makes your essay easier to read and understand.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples by providing more detail or using specific case studies if available. This makes your arguments more convincing and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.