IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development? (Write 250 words.)

The working permit
hours
Use synonyms
 for
workers
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 guided by regulation in some countries because the purpose of the laws is to protect
employees
Use synonyms
 from
overworked
Add a missing verb
being overworked
show examples
 and to maintain a
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
This
Linking Words
 essay will give reasons and explain why I think
this
Linking Words
 is
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 positive support. The primary reason
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
limit
Use synonyms
 working
hours
Use synonyms
 is to protect
Use synonyms
employees
Change noun form
employees'
show examples
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
 and to guarantee that
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
give
Verb problem
apply
show examples
overtask
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
.
In particular
Linking Words
, some
company
Use synonyms
 wants to reduce
hire
Replace the word
hiring
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 by the way to give more responsibility to one person
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can not
fair
Add a missing verb
be fair
show examples
 to
employees
Use synonyms
 because they have more responsibility but get lower benefits. Long
hours
Use synonyms
 working can lead to many healthcare problems and
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 stress, office syndrome, and obesity. It occurs when
workers
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 overloaded working. To illustrate overwork
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
workers
Use synonyms
 should
take
Verb problem
focus
show examples
 more
focusing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
on duty to finish the task responsibility which occurs in many
Use synonyms
company
Change to a plural noun
companies
show examples
 in my country, Thailand. The second reason, the
permit
Replace the word
permitted
show examples
 working
hours
Use synonyms
 can maintain the efficiency and effectiveness
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization
show examples
. When
workers
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 overworked, they always
tried
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to finish the task for good quality of the
company
Use synonyms
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the reason
to reduce
Change preposition
for reducing
show examples
high
Correct article usage
the high
show examples
 capacity in
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
show examples
. After
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
,
employees
Use synonyms
 should manage their time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 relax and maintain life-balanced. People should separate time for working, doing exercise, and travelling to enhance more energy.
Overall
Linking Words
, I believe that the working
limit
Use synonyms
 regulations are
benefits
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 for both
organization
Correct article usage
the organization
show examples
 and
employees
Use synonyms
 because the
company
Use synonyms
 can provide
work
Use synonyms
 to
limit
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 working process. The
company
Use synonyms
 will get higher effectiveness and efficiency results by not
lose
Wrong verb form
losing
show examples
 over cost for extraordinary
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as electricity billing. The
workers
Use synonyms
 will
satisfy
Wrong verb form
be satisfied
show examples
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
work
Use synonyms
 process that it is important to establish
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
relax
Replace the word
relaxed
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
 position. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
show examples
 working
hours
Use synonyms
 provides good benefits and protects
Use synonyms
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 balance. So, the government should establish the law to support good advantages to
workers
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Transitions and topic sentences can help clarify your main points.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This can strengthen your points and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Focus on sentence structure and grammar to improve clarity and avoid confusion. This will make your ideas easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the purpose of the essay and states your position. This lays a strong foundation for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task by explaining why the laws are introduced and offering your opinion on their impact.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
What to do next:
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