IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that not only should professional sports and cultural enterprises be sponsored by the government but also that amateur adult and children groups should get funding. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

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Government
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 supports national
sports
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 and culture companies to get
further
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 in their career and get the nation’s name in the limelight.
People
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 think that not only should Professional
sports
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 and big companies get subsidies from the
government
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 but the
government
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 should
also
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 support the average
adult
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 and
kids
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 group. In
this
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 essay, we will discuss why the
government
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 should not sponsor amateur
adult
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 and
kids
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 groups. I disagree that the
Government
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 should support every amateur
adult
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 and
kids
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 group because that will require a lot of funding, which is supposed to be used in other projects, as governments have limited funds for all projects.
Also
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, an average
adult
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 and kid would strive to become good enough in order to receive sponsorship from the authority and they will take inspiration from professional players. If the
government
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 starts funding everyone,
people
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 will lose the will to work harder towards their goals. If we look at professional players and enterprises, they have worked harder to reach their destinies and
then
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 the law supports them as they
also
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 bring pride to the nation. One must be deserving enough to receive support. Let's take an example of scholarships in the education sector. Students go through hardships to get good marks and secure scholarships. Education sectors do not award scholarships to everyone as they have a limit of earnings too but they do provide it to hard workers, as those bright students will most probably will do something big in their life, which eventually benefits the country. So
this
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 is why the ministry should not provide free funding to every
adult
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 and
kids
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 group.
However
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, the union should manage random
events
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 for
people
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 who are fascinated with
sports
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, as it will surely help to find out some hidden
talents
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, participating in those
events
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 and the winner should get funding. Not only interested
kids
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 or adults will participate but other
people
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 will be drawn to
events
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 too and there is a chance of developing interest in play.
For example
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, Imran Khan himself had handpicked many local street players in Pakistan, thinking they would be a really great addition to the Pakistani cricket team. One of those few names is Legendary bowler Wasim Akram. So, we have dormant talent rolling around, waiting for the right
events
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 and chances. So, the
government
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 should look out for hidden
talents
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. The Essay has argued why should the
government
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 not provide funding to average adults and
kids
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 groups like they backing professionals and
also
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 how should the
government
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 manage that extra funding to provide chances for some talented
people
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 except those professional teams and big companies. I would say the state should create more
sports
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events
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 in all areas of the country, with a very minor fee so it can recover some cost too and award the winner of the event, so winners get recognition of their
talents
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 too as most
people
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 don’t know about their
talents
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. It will really benefit the
sports
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 lovers, and society and bigger
talents
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 will be added to professional
sports
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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