More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

#people #sugar #drinks #measures #trend

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now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

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over the

last

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few decades, soft drinks are increasing,

Correct word choice

and it

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is probably increasingly in

demamn

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demand

due to

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the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

market campaigns.

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however

Add a comma

,however

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how to prevent

this

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measure, I will elaborate more in

this

Linking Words

essay. beverages are getting popular

due to

Linking Words

marketing. for

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instance

instancce

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,instancce

show examples

you get

this

Linking Words

particular

bevarage

Correct your spelling

beverage

because your favourite idol is the main

sponser

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sponsor

of it.

For example

Linking Words

, a

kpop

Correct your spelling

pop

K-pop

sensation grp called BTS was a

sponser

Correct your spelling

sponsor

Coca cola

Add a hyphen

Coca-cola

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iaround

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around

2020-2021 and they had a special edition with one member per bottle, in my country Singapore once the tin/flask

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

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available all the fans went to get it and because it was

this

Linking Words

popular because of advertisement and how they market to the fans. if they could not find the particular member they will either sell it off or they will trade it off on a BTS channel through

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

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or Telegram and after that they either get trades or they will buy more til they complete all of the members and

grp

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group

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cans.

However

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, drinking liquid

refreshment

Fix the agreement mistake

refreshments

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can

also

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be a downfall to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health

due to

Linking Words

the buyers drinking too

manty

Correct your spelling

many

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this

Linking Words

sugar refreshment. A

reknown

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renown

known

example

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that drinking much too sugar can lead to

diabeties

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and other problems

such

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as heart problems and high blood pressure among the youth.

hence

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i feel we should try to have healthy actions

for example

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we should drink

instead

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of drinking sweet drinks. In conclusion,

this

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is a problem and it could lead to long

tem

Correct your spelling

term

however

Linking Words

with healthy tips it

Change the verb form

show examples

better and things will be better for the people.

Submitted by lilinsia12 on Sun Jul 16 2023

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

267 words

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More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

Your opinion

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main course of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctry. what are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world? do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a gap year, before they work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?

In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the cause of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. Do you agree or disagree?

It is suggested that primary children should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?