More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

#people #sugar #drinks #measures #trend

now a days

Correct the word

nowadays

show examples

over the

last

few decades, soft drinks are increasing,

Correct word choice

and it

show examples

is probably increasingly in

demamn

Correct your spelling

demand

due to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

market campaigns.

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

how to prevent

this

measure, I will elaborate more in

this

essay. beverages are getting popular

due to

marketing. for

Correct your spelling

instance

instancce

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,instancce

show examples

you get

this

particular

bevarage

Correct your spelling

beverage

because your favourite idol is the main

sponser

Correct your spelling

sponsor

of it.

For example

, a

kpop

Correct your spelling

pop

K-pop

sensation grp called BTS was a

sponser

Correct your spelling

sponsor

Coca cola

Add a hyphen

Coca-cola

show examples

iaround

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around

2020-2021 and they had a special edition with one member per bottle, in my country Singapore once the tin/flask

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

available all the fans went to get it and because it was

this

popular because of advertisement and how they market to the fans. if they could not find the particular member they will either sell it off or they will trade it off on a BTS channel through

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

show examples

or Telegram and after that they either get trades or they will buy more til they complete all of the members and

grp

Correct your spelling

group

show examples

cans.

However

, drinking liquid

refreshment

Fix the agreement mistake

refreshments

show examples

can

also

be a downfall to

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

health

due to

the buyers drinking too

manty

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many

show examples

this

sugar refreshment. A

reknown

Correct your spelling

renown

known

example

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is that drinking much too sugar can lead to

diabeties

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and other problems

such

as heart problems and high blood pressure among the youth.

hence

i feel we should try to have healthy actions

for example

we should drink

instead

of drinking sweet drinks. In conclusion,

this

is a problem and it could lead to long

tem

Correct your spelling

term

however

with healthy tips it

Change the verb form

show examples

better and things will be better for the people.

Submitted by lilinsia12 on Sun Jul 16 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people today are drinking sugar based drinks. Why is this happening? What measures can be taken to reverse this trend?

Your opinion

Pressure on the school and universities store and is increasing and students are forced to to hard work when they are young do you think it is a positive or negative development

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports center now and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarie the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisions where relevant

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people today believe that it is acceptable to use physical force to discipline children, but others feel it is completely unacceptable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.