IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013.

The maps below show the layouts of nature Museum between 2010 and 2013.
#maps #show #layouts #nature #museum
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The
map
Use synonyms
 demonstrates that nature
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 had been shown
changed
Change the verb form
to change
show examples
 their site
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
 2010 and 2013.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was a garden on the right side of the
map
Use synonyms
,
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 there were many trees in there. After 3 years later, there was no garden where built many facilities on the site. Looking at the graph more closely, one can see that In 2010, mammals on the left side of the
map
Use synonyms
 were moved to the top of the right corner in 2013.
In addition
Linking Words
,
shopping
Correct article usage
the shopping
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, human origins display and
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
established
Add a missing verb
were established
show examples
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 right side
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
map
Use synonyms
 in 2013.
This
Linking Words
 means that the rate of people who used ocean
hall
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 increasing per year. Another note is that
mammals
Correct article usage
the mammals
show examples
 exhibition site in 2010 had changed to
ice
Correct article usage
the ice
show examples
 age exhibition and insects
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2013.
Finally
Linking Words
, ocean
hall
Use synonyms
 space in 2013 was bigger than in 2010 ocean
hall
Use synonyms
 space.
Overall
Linking Words
, people can enjoy diverse activities
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
hall
Use synonyms
 with families or friends. Specifically, children love
this
Linking Words
 place because
this
Linking Words
 establishment had dinosaurs corner, ice age and insects ,which children
interest
Add a missing verb
are interest
show examples
 in these things.
Submitted by yup on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words map, hall with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "map" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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