The graph illustrates the proportion of pattern changes of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom

The graph illustrates the proportion of pattern changes of domestic access to modern technology in homes in the United Kingdom
The graph illustrates the
percentage
of households in the UK
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
been accessing modern technology
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
four different devices
such
as
home
computer, CD player, mobile phone and internet
access
during the
period
of 1996 to 2002 in terms of
percentage
.
Overall
, it could be clearly identified that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
each
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
every type of modern technology had shown increases trend but among these
trends
Add a comma
,trends
show examples
we can demonstrate
home
computer
access
was
increase
rapidly.
However
,
CD
Add an article
the CD
show examples
player was the most popular household technology throughout the
period
. In the year 1996/97, the
percentage
of usage of
CD
Add an article
the CD
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
was around sixty
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
(60%) and it had
then
increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
slightly to a value of approximately 70% after a year and after that, the value had
climb
Wrong verb form
climbed
show examples
slightly passing around 78% and hitting point of 83% in the year 2000 and 2002 respectively.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
no
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
access
Wrong verb form
accessing
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
but after
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1998 there was a gradual
increase
to 30% and
then
shown
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
increase
to
level
Add an article
the level
a level
show examples
of 45%. But out of these technologies
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
percentage
was internet
access
.
In
Change the preposition
At
show examples
the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
mobile phone usage was less than
home
computers and it was the third largest
percentage
but after one-year 1998 it was outracing
home
computers and mobile usage become
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
70%
at the end
of the
period
and
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
rise to
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
largest
percentage
.
Submitted by ridminayani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, home, access, period, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: