IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The leaders or directors of organisations are often older people. Some people think that young people can also be good leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organisations #people
Decision-makers and
governers
Correct your spelling
governors
show examples
 are usually the old people in each country,
while
, it is argued that these key positions must be filled by the younger generation. I strongly agree the latter group have more
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 ability to manage
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every country. The young are better to take an important responsibility in every government. Having enough information and up-to-date
kowledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
, the younger people are able to solve any problem and play an important role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their countries. Even though
this
 generation has
low
Add an article
the low
show examples
 experience, there have been a
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 number of successful people who have done their tasks properly. Problems are absolutely complicated nowadays,regardless, we need
policy makers
Correct your spelling
policymakers
show examples
 that have new
ideaes
Correct your spelling
ideas
 and
knowing
Wrong verb form
know
show examples
 new methods . The
eldery
Correct your spelling
elderly
,
on the other hand
,
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 appropriate not to take
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
responsibility.
loosing
Capitalize word
Loosing
show examples
 their power, the older leaders cannot do their work. A president or a prime minister
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 age,
for instance
,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not able for participating
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 substantial meetings or
teravels
Correct your spelling
travels
travel
,
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
this
 age group usually get tired and
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exhausted
briskely
Correct your spelling
briskly
.
Moreover
, A great deal
if
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 them could not concentrate completely,
as a result
, making a vital decision would be challenging. In conclusion, The older generation
due to
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 their
vigor
Change the spelling
vigour
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 not able to take the top responsibility in
countriers
Correct your spelling
countries
, in stark contrast, the young with their know-how and their energy
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 better on
mariginal
Correct your spelling
marginal
original
 posts
Submitted by darkred6171 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: