Some people believe that schools should reward those students who show excellent academic performance while some believe that only the ones who show significant improvement in the grades should be rewarded. Discuss both the views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Irrefutably,

rewards

Use synonyms

given in schools help in encouraging

students

Use synonyms

towards hard work.

However

Linking Words

, some individuals believe that prizes should be given to

students

Use synonyms

who score the highest

marks

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in academics.

Whilst others

Correct word choice

Others

show examples

accept that scholars who show substantial improvement in their scores should be given

rewards

Use synonyms

. I fervently agree that both notions can reap astounding benefits for

students

Use synonyms

. I shall discuss the same in forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, juveniles who achieve excellent grades in studies should be given prizes, as a token of appreciation.

For instance

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who receive awards from their principal, teachers, or parents for gaining attractive grades in academics are enthusiastic to continue the same hard work and dedication towards

studies

Correct pronoun usage

their studies

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, these

rewards

Use synonyms

help in enhancing the

overall

Linking Words

academic grades of educational institutions.

Moreover

Linking Words

, when awards are given to

students

Use synonyms

who secure higher

marks

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, it

further

Linking Words

creates tough competition among intelligent peers to gain an in-depth knowledge of subjects and score higher

marks

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than others.

Thus

Linking Words

, it leads to more informed and learned citizens.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, giving

rewards

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

who show significant development in their

marks

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

a sagacious approach.

For example

Linking Words

students

Use synonyms

who acquire prizes for their continuous journey towards academic improvement or progress are more successful in reaching their goal of attaining attractive

marks

Use synonyms

. Because they think their efforts are recognized and appreciated by someone, which

further

Linking Words

boosts them to continue learning.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, giving

rewards

Use synonyms

students

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who are gradually ameliorating their class performance can

decline

Verb problem

reduce

show examples

the number of academically weak

students

Use synonyms

, as each student will make

Correct article usage

an efforts

show examples

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

to gain a prize.

Thus

Linking Words

rewards

Use synonyms

act as a perk for scholars, to encourage them towards learning.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I strongly believe that

rewards

Use synonyms

can always bring fruitful results to proliferate the literacy rate.

Also

Linking Words

, giving awards to intelligent

students

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

to those who show progress in studies, are equally crucial and should be cherished.

varindervarinder1996Mon Jul 17 2023

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task response

The essay covers both views and provides a clear opinion at the end. The points made are relevant and well-supported with examples. There is a good logical structure in the essay, but the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit.

coherence and cohesion

There is a strong logical structure in the essay and the points are well supported with examples. The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more developed to provide a better framework for the essay.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic performance
excellent academic performance
significant improvement
motivates
aspires
intelligence
hard work
dedication
competitive spirit
academic success
struggle academically
perseverance
innate ability
confidence
valued
growth mindset
inclusive environment
holistic education

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