Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold To what extend do you agree?

Nowadays

people

believe that the high sales of common consumer

products

refer to the strength of publicity and not the necessary needs of the society in which they are sold. I partially agree with

this

statement and discuss the reasons in the following paragraphs with relevant examples.

To begin

with, in the present time role of advertising is essential

due to

knowing about the development of technologies.

In other words

, advertising encourages to be aware of new featured goods which some

people

may need.

For instance

, new devices for households

such

as vacuum cleaners with artificial intelligence or new washing

machine

Fix the agreement mistake

machines

show examples

which can clean faster consuming less water.

Individuals

would not be aware if there

did not

Verb problem

were no

show examples

Verb problem

apply

show examples

advertisements.

Rephrase

show examples

as a result

individuals

will know about that product and their features through advertisements.

However

, there are opinions that some consumer

products

are considered to be useless and only popular

due to

advertising. On some occasions,

individuals

make more focus on marketing and not

products'

Change preposition

on products'

show examples

quantity and usefulness for

people

For example

, weight loss

products

which absence is not as important as it said in advertisements. In some cases, it can be more harmful than it is thought and cause financial issues. Some

people

start to overuse

such

goods for weight loss, hoping they will lose in future. For that reason, sometimes advertising can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative effects on humans.

To conclude

, some

individuals

believe that commercial

products

have a crucial role in being aware of new technology gadgets or other helpful things. But others thought some unnecessary

products

are popular

due to

good marketing services. In my opinion, there are positive and negative sides to advertising and it is difficult to stay just on one side.

Submitted by shansharova.assel on Mon Jul 17 2023

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task response

Task Response: The essay provides a partial agreement with the statement and presents relevant arguments to support the position. However, the response could be more explicit and the position could be clearly stated in the introduction to establish a clear line of argument.

coherence and cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a good logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are well-supported with relevant examples. However, the link between some ideas could be strengthened to enhance coherence.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not real needs of the society in which they are sold To what extend do you agree?

Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Billions of dollars are being wasted each year on space research. The money could be better used to improve conditions on earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Older people often choose to spend money on themselves (e.g. on holidays) rather than save money for their children after retirement. Is this a positive or negative development?

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