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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development
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Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 use various apps to transfer cash via their phones or the Internet to family, colleagues, and friends. To a certain extent, I agree that it is a positive development for society.
However
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, there are undeniably some disadvantages. On the one hand, there are crucial drawbacks, including technological illiteracy or technical problems. Just as more and more
people
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 frequently use online
payment
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, cyber-criminals numbers significantly increase,
such
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 as hackers, ID thefts, and database exploits.
For example
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, frauds are popular among online customers, especially the older generation, who lack knowledge, so they are becoming a direct target for many hackers by saving their card details on their phones or using public
wifi
Correct your spelling
WiFi
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 networks through online purchases.
Furthermore
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, technical issues with the web server are one of the main cons. If governments cannot provide ultimate protection and guarantee equal access to reliable internet services, it will cost them tremendous losses.
On the other hand
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, from my perspective, I agree considerably that online
payment
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 has many vital effects on an individual lifestyle. Currently, most
people
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 use online transactions on a regular basis.
People
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 can comfortably transfer money for alternative activities
such
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 as buying from shopping sites, paying electricity bills, or even employees' wages.
For instance
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, there are different
payment
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 apps
such
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 as PayPal, Venmo, and InstaPay.
In addition
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, trying to flourish the economy is another benefit of online transactions.
In particular
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, gateways for online payments can operate globally with the customer base irrespective of geographical limitations.
According to
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 research, about 70% of online shops prefer shopping across borders.
As a result
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 of catering to a global client, integrating online
payment
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 alternatives on their websites will undoubtedly enhance sales. In conclusion,
although
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 sending money by the Internet or cell phones to other
people
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 is more convenient and practical for accelerating sales and facilitating the
payment
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 process, there are many downsides,
such
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 as online fraud and database stealing.
Submitted by rogina.magdy52 on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary by using a wider variety of words and expressions.
grammatical range
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