Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #activities #benefit #children #development #computer #games

It is argued that the technological transformation of society has brought a lot of advantages to humans, especially

children

. Some people agree that outdoor

activities

greatly impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kid’s

Fix the agreement mistake

kids’

show examples

physical and mental health more than computer

games

. In my opinion, playing video

games

have many benefits, but outdoor

activities

have an outdoor influence.

To begin

with,

games

can help a child increase their brain by learning a way to depend on themself.

Initially

, some types of

games

also

teach how to survive when a person is alone.

Nevertheless

, there are many

games

that have content that players have to cooperate with each other to win.

This

plays a key role in the way how

children

learn

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cooperative skill.

Moreover

, young users can acquire knowledge of the other language.

Furthermore

, people

also

make friends around the world.

For example

, when a person plays in the virtual world, they can connect with people around the world, so making friends on that sort of game is easy.

On the other hand

, going out and having

activities

have many pros. To commence with,

children

can boost their physical healthy by playing sports with a teammate or single. The good point in

this

way is that kids communicate well when they meet one another.

For instance

, whenever they have a match, they will make a discussion what to do and make a decision.

This

may lead to how

children

widen their skills. In conclusion, the technical advancements in the modes of society have marked the beginning of a new age.

Moreover

, it brings many benefits, like the development of computer

games

that give

children

more options for recreation, but outdoor

activities

also

play a critical part

Change preposition

show examples

well-rounded.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Tue Jul 18 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

benefit
development
physical
promote
foster
social skills
teamwork
cognitive skills
problem-solving
abilities
well-being
hinder
isolation
interpersonal skills
sedentary
exposure
negatively affect
academic performance

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Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In the past, people stored knowledge in the book. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

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