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Some people decide to start their own busniess instead of working hour for a company or organization. Do the advantages for people working for their own business outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #busniess #hour #company #organization #business
Nowadays, the majority of individuals are inspired to be self-employed rather than being an employee in either a company or organization. I personally believe the benefits
such
 as flexible working hours and
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
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 to earn much more profit far outweigh any potential drawbacks.
To begin
 with, there is a plethora of advantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 being a self-employed businessman. Despite some struggles at the beginning, the start-uppers may become successful and create job opportunities for other
people
.
Furthermore
, the amount of time spent on
work
 depends on
willingness
Add an article
the willingness
show examples
 of the boss. Whether they
work
 hard and long, and
consequently
 earn lots of money, or they might shorten their working hours and
as a result
 reduce their income,
whereas
 in large
companies
,
people
 only have an hourly salary, and it does not matter, whether they do their best at
work
 or have worked extra, they will have the appointed salary.
Moreover
, there are some
people
 who can not
work
 under someone's control, they want to have financial freedom and become independent, working on
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
. On the negative side,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-employed individuals may face some difficulties at the real beginning of developing their business.
Although
, the bosses need to
work
 extra in order to become successful at the opening stage of their business,
however
 as their
companies
 grow, the risks of losing everything might cause health problems for individuals.
For instance
, the recent investigation has demonstrated that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 9 out of ten
companies
 become bankrupt in the first five-year period.
Apart from
this
,
people
 working for themselves can not enjoy all the perks and facilities, which are provided in world-scale
companies
,
such
 as Amazon or Apple, which provide their employees with bonuses, paid vacations, health insurance and etc. In conclusion, in spite of factors
such
 as creating a successful empire and
also
,
feel
Wrong verb form
feeling
show examples
 relaxed and confident, it is worth
to begin
Change the verb form
beginning
show examples
 a new job,
however
 there are some disadvantages, which I consider as unimportant.
Submitted by choriev.safar on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • entrepreneurship
  • start-up
  • self-employed
  • financial autonomy
  • business venture
  • profit margins
  • flexible schedule
  • personal satisfaction
  • business failure
  • work-life balance
  • financial risk
  • increased responsibility
  • economic instability
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